Right now, a loved one is recovering from a double mastectomy. She is facing the word no one ever wants to hear--cancer. It really puts life into perspective. Running, training, racing... these are such silly little aspects of a life. I have struggled with guilt lately over training while someone I care about struggles with life and death health issues.
Cancer really makes you look at the big picture of life. I think we, as runners, have to be careful that we pour as much into loving and serving others as we pour into running. If I spend five hours a week running, have I spent at least that amount investing in others? It is clear which is the more important aspect of living.
The biggest struggle I've faced in the last twenty-four hours is trying to decide if it is worth it (and even appropriate) to get up at 3:00 a.m. and drive to the Viola Valley Half Marathon on Saturday morning. It is ridiculous, really. If that silly little decision is the biggest struggle I've got, I should definitely count my blessings.
It is so hard to watch someone you care about suffer. As runners, we suffer, but it is by choice. We choose to pay money and go run 13 or 26 miles and suffer blisters and muscle cramps and fatigue. If it hurts too much, we can always drop out. Others don't have that option.
If I do run tomorrow, it will be with GRATITUDE for my own health, endurance, and strength. For 13.1 miles, I will meditate on how thankful I am to even be able to run.
So undeservingly blessed,